Painful Realities

As part of a delegation from the German Government, I recently went on a field trip to East London to visit a few projects we are financing.

While in Pretoria everyone is dealing with development and aid effectiveness on a more or less theoretical basis; the people working in East London are confronted with poverty, unemployment, crime and HIV/AIDS on a daily basis. They are more than buzz words – they are reality.

Especially a meeting with the District AIDS Counsellor reminded me of the painful realities about life in South Africa that so many people - in this case girls and women – are confronted with every day.

The Counsellor told us that one of the biggest factors contributing to the continuingly high prevalence of HIV/AIDS was the high incidence of enforced intercourse and rape, during which the risk of contracting HIV is significantly higher than during “normal” sex.



In a surprisingly matter-of-fact tone, she told us that it was still culturally accepted for men to enforce sex and added that, while she was talking to us, her grandmother might well get raped back home in her village.

The way she said this – almost in a neutral and unaffected manner - caught me by surprise. Where I come from, rape is considered a terrible crime that is only spoken about in a gloomy and depressed manner. It is not simply noted and seen as a fact of life.

The stark contrast between mine and the Counsellor’s way of thinking about rape reminded me of a conversation I had had with a friend. She said that rape in the Western World was made out to be this terrible crime – the worst thing that could possibly ever happened to a women and something that she cannot ever recover from. My friend then went on to hypothesise that this kind of public perception about rape might contribute to the traumatising effect it had on victims. I remember that I found the theory rather controversial...

But listening to the Counsellor, I could see where my friend was coming from: it seems that in the Eastern Cape, there is a deeply rooted culture of violence against women and in which men rape in order to feel powerful or because they feel they are entitled to it.

Rape has sadly become a part of everyday life – not a part that people like, but nevertheless a part. It happens – but when it is over, you get up and continue living. It is concerning that, as economic conditions worsen and men struggle to find employment and meaning in life, women may be at an even higher risk to experience violence as men use them to vent their frustrations.

I am still not convinced about my friend’s theory. But regardless of that, what I have learnt and will have to come to terms with is that rape is sadly a common occurrence in Africa a lot of women – especially poor black ones – will probably experience it at one point in their life time. Another painful reality...