Invisible Penises

I like to support people trying to make an honest living by working rather than begging for money. An easy way to do this is by taking leaflets handed out at traffic lights. More often than not they are boring adverts for deals at garages, but I also often get rather entertaining adverts from Sangomas.

South Africans strongly believe in traditional medicines and their power to heal physical, emotional and spiritual illnesses; re-store lost love, predict lottery numbers, increase fortunes and penis sizes, and counteract witchcraft.

Reading about the “powers” of Sangomas always cheers me up when I am stuck in traffic: they advertise their “100% safe guaranteed herb” methods for “getting new lover of your choice”, “attracting charm for ladies to love you” or “attracting charm for men to admire you and propose you”. If you’re less interested in romantic love, the Sangomas can offer you a “breast herbal gel to make your breast pointed at any age” or “hard erection herbs for long rounds during sex”. I sometimes even get a “Free Voucher to “Respect your Elders & Parents for Good Life”!

But the other day I realised that there are very unexpected downsides of traditional medicines.

Eleven villagers were accused of setting alight a pastor for using an “invisible magic penis” to sleep with women. The pastor’s wife, who villagers accused of turning into a snail and terrorising the community, escaped this fate. At the funeral, the victim’s family placed a curse on those responsible for the priest’s death and subsequently one accused has died after complaining of swollen feet and vomiting blood.

While it may seem unbelievable that people kill others for having “invisible magic” penises, witch hunts are not uncommon in rural Africa. Villagers often kill people for stealing husbands, cursing businesses or using witchcraft to curse others. Any misfortunate can be accredited to witchcraft and a witch can be any person the villagers don’t like.

In South Africa, where traditional healers are protected by Government legislation and consulted by around 60% of the population, people better make sure they don’t annoy their neighbours too much otherwise beliefs that I consider entertaining, could turn out tragic for them.