One morning a couple of weeks ago, I woke up and decided I had had enough! I got up, made an appointment and found out that I qualified for the procedure.
Two weeks later, I am finding myself sitting in the waiting room of Dr Eugene Meyer who is shortly going to numb my eyes before slicing them open and temporarily blinding me with a green laser. After twenty seconds, which I have no doubt will be the longest seconds of my life, he will then put the flap back in position and seal my eyes with a pressurized contact lens. Tomorrow morning I will hopefully wake up and see a world that is no longer blurry but sharp and clear.
Please note that I am sparing you photographic images!
My expectations are high - everyone is always talking about how laser eye surgery changed their life and my friend Vanessa quite poignantly advertised it as "no longer having to carry around glasses for the drive home after a night out". I can relate to that situation oh-so-well and could name many more in which my bad eyesight has been a major constraint.
My favourite one is probably walking through a mall with my prescription sunglasses on and everyone looking at me feeling sorry for being crazy or behaving like a wannabe celebrity. And I can't even blame them - after all, how should they know that if I take my sunglasses off, I am running danger of walking into glass doors (okay that might be an exaggeration)!
So I want this procedure - I do think it will make life so much easier and better. I will wake up in the morning and see the clock, I will be able to leave the house without having to remember contact lens solution and three different sets of glasses, and I’ll be able to smooch my boyfriend without having to wipe my glasses afterwards!
Nevertheless and probably quite naturally, I am sitting here petrified and almost hoping that they will forget about me and no one will come to collect me.
Friday, 11th November 2011 - Hospital Waiting Room (again!)
A few seconds after I had written this, a nurse came to lead me through to the restricted area, where I found myself waiting with another lady outside the operation room. She just had enough time to tell me her prescription and was then taken through.
Once again I was left alone with my thoughts, but this time not in silence... The sounds that came from the room may not have been screams of torture, but the noise from the machine that cut the girl’s eyes open did definitely not sound pleasant and certainly not like anything you would want anywhere near your eye. The air smelt of burnt leather.
Half an hour (thirty long minutes!) later, the girl came out of the operation room smiling and exited "I can see!" she said, "It's amazing, I can see!" No sign of fear, all happiness! And as she walked away into a better life, I gathered all my courage and went into the operation room.
The procedure itself, I have to admit, is not painful at all. It is as if you are lying directly under a glass table and watching someone clean it from above. But what I found difficult, almost impossible, was to keep my eyes open and look into the four bright lights above me. Even though I tried so hard, it was as if bricks were hanging on my eye lids and I could not even open them a tiny bit. And as the doctor got more and more forceful demanding I open my eyes, I got more and more scared that I might be jeopardizing the success of the procedure...
Twenty long minutes later, what was left of me walked out of the surgery room with sore but working eyes. Patients before me had simply walked out and away, but I found the whole procedure deeply invasive. A lovely nurse felt sorry for my shaking self and wrapped me into a blanket, showed me a comfy chair and brought me tea to calm down.
Straight after the procedureSixteen hours later I am back at the clinic for a check up and to my utter horror, the doctor said that while the surgery went well, the skin on my right eye is not quite smooth. Apparently it is not a major problem and would correct itself over time, but he says he will just “quickly re-do it”.
So here I am again with the lovely nurse from yesterday looking very sympathetic at the nervous wreck that I am clearly feeling sorry for me that I will have to go through this – seemingly traumatic experience - again.
The doctor has offered me something to calm down, needless to say I have gladly accepted - anything to help me go through this again is most welcome.
Monday, 14th November 2011 - At Home
After I had written this, I got my tranquiliser and went back into the operation room...
Four days later I am at home finishing this post with both eyes open and working – as far as I am concerned, that is the most important thing!
The left eye has recovered beautifully and I see sharper and clearer on it than ever before – amazing! The right eye, which had to be re-done, is not doing quite as well yet. But the doctor only removed the pressurised lens today and I was assured that it will take a couple of days until the eye has fully healed and I will be able to enjoy sharp vision on it too... fingers crossed!
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