Day 1: Pretoria to Windhoek (Namibia)
Quote of the Day:
“Next time you have business in Botswana, give me a call!”
(Steven, who helped us get petrol after we had run out in the middle of the Kalahari)
Day 2: Wedding in Windhoek
Quote of the Day:
"Guests will be collected at 3pm at the Waterhole”
(Mirela informing me about wedding arrangements)
Day 3: Windhoek to Middle of Nowhere
Quote of the Day:
“This car needs to stay on tarred roads!”
(Jako, the world’s nicest man, after he pulled our Kia Picante out of a 50cm deep mud hole)
Day 4: Middle of Nowhere to Sossusvlei
Quote of the Day:
“I take you in the middle of the desert, in a Kia Picante, and then drop you in a giant mud hole.”
(Simon about his way of paying me back for organising this trip)
Day 5: Sossusvlei
Quote of the Day:
“We’re not going to charge you for the room, but you will have to pay for your meals.”
(Manager of the Sossusvlei Lodge when giving us a €290 room for free)
“I think I fancy going on a helicopter flight...”
(Simon over dinner)
Day 6: Sossusvlei to Fish River Canyon
Quote of the Day:
“My shoes are the same colour as the sky!”
Day 7: Fish River Canyon
Quote of the Day:
“I‘m thinking of incorporating an exclamation mark in my signature from now on...”
(Simon, while utterly confusing an absolutely lovely receptionist)
Day 8: Fish River Canyon to Clanwilliams (South Africa)
Quote of the Day:
Jo: “Do we need to go through there (customs)?”
Officer: “Yes”
Jo: “And do what?”
Officer: “Answer a question.”
Simon: “What’s the highest sand dune?”
Day 9: Clanwilliams to Cape Town
Quote of the Day:
“I quite like being led by Simon... it’s an adventure because you genuinely don’t know where you’re going to end up... might be in a mud hole in the middle of the desert.”
(Wizzy while following Simon chasing lights at the Waterfront)
Day 10: Cape Town - Cape of Good Hope
Quote of the Day:
“You should move your car – we’re about to steal your hub cap.”
(Scaring a fellow Kia Picante driver at the Cape of Good Hope)
“They jumped the queue!”
(Wizzy appaled and outraged about people jumping our neatly formed queue in front of the “Cape of Good Hope” sign)
Day 11: Cape Town
Quote of the Day:
Beggar: “Give me money so I can buy a coffee”
Jo: “And what will you give me?”
Beggar: “Ah, you can have everything, my whole body! You can hijack me!”
Day 12: Cape Town Winelands
Quote of the Day:
Wizzy: “And we ate all the chocolate...”
Jo: “Yeah and drank half the cocktail menu and three bottles of wine”
(Discussing the nutritional aftermath of the previous night...)
“And then there was Simon, the hairdresser, who is now gay.”
(Wizzy elaborating on past boyfriends)
Day 13: Cape Town to St Lucia
Quote of the Day:
“This is a good idea, but is it wizolious?”
Day 14: St Lucia Wetlands Park
Quote of the Day:
Simon: “We’ve been living together for a while now...”
Jo: “Are you about to propose?”
”From now on I would like all further communication to me to be addressed to the Monkey. The Monkey now speaks for me.”
(Simon, having fun with a cuddly toy and nearly wetting himself laughing)
Jo: “Could I please have a Cinzano Rosso, an Allesverloren and do you have any wines by the glass?”
Waiter: “Yes, we have SomeRandom Vineyard”
Jo: “What grape is this – is it a Chardonnay or a Sauvignon Blanc..?!”
Waiter shakes head and disappears...
Simon: “I am fluent in English and have four degrees, but that completely baffled me... The waiter never stood a chance... We will never get those drinks!”
Day 15: St Lucia to Manzini (Swaziland)
Quote of the Day:
“I am the Princess, you are Donkey Kong... and he is Super Mario!”
(Jo while quad biking)
Jo: “One less thing to worry about.”
Simon: “A big hairy thing...”
(Discussing the implications of having a swim in a lake full of crocodiles and hippos)
Day 16: Bushfire in Swaziland
Quote of the Day:
“I was waiting for you at the Visitors Centre...”
(A security guard desperately trying to get a bribe from us for not paying entrance to a National Park even though he was not at the gate...)
Day 17: Swaziland to Pretoria
Quote of the Day:
"If there is an opportunity for theft, take it. If there is a hat you like, buy it”
(Conclusion after Simon was "mugged" by the Royal Swazi Sun Hotel and charged R18 for a can of coke)
“You are double the size of everyone else in this queue!”(Jo commenting on Simon standing out in the queue for the bouncy castle slide)
Day 18: Pretoria
Quote of the Day:
"I think we got away with it..."
(Simon baffled that the guy at Hertz did not notice that we returned a wreck after borrowing a car 17 days ago!)
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