After being in relationships (more or less) for the past seven years, I had to learn to be by myself again after Chris and I broke up.
I love having a special someone in my life, someone to share all your thoughts, dreams and desserts with; someone you want to tell the great news, the office gossip and your recent discovery about the toothpaste; and someone who thinks you’re adorable not only in a little black dress but also in pyjamas with a Red Sea Algae face mask on.
But while I love having a special someone in my life, I have recently learnt that it can be quite nice not to. It is quite refreshing to worry about nothing but yourself: To go out when you feel like it, to call people when you’re in the mood to talk and to have random chats with random people for however long you fancy.
I have only enjoyed this new state of centre-staging myself for the past seven months (a short amount of time when compared with the seven years I spent being “We” rather than “I”), but apparently that is already too much.
Recently conversations have increasingly featured questions and sentences along the lines of “So how come you haven’t got a boyfriend?” or “I have this really great friend I would like to introduce you to”. Especially in the last month, people have started talking a lot about how great their buddies are and that I should really meet them – coffee, lunch, dinner – anything will do! Even a work colleague from another department has asked me whether she could pass on my number to this friend of hers – obviously a great guy I just had to meet.
Even though I am thoroughly enjoying being by myself at the moment, at some point I thought “Screw it, why not” and agreed to meet someone - after all, a girl’s gotta eat...
So the other day, I found myself on a lunch date with this “great guy” and I have to give my friend credit, we did get on rather well. Lunch was surprisingly pleasant, the conversation was flowing nicely and when I first checked the time, it was 4.30pm.
Yet – surprise, surprise – there were no sparks, no butterflies, no fireworks.
Being set up is probably not a bad way of finding a potential partner. After all, your friends will probably know you quite well and should set you up with people who you will actually get on with.
But if you’re not looking for love and happy by yourself, what chance would even Mr Right on a White Horse have?
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