Around the World in Eighty Days

It has taken me one month to tell you about a two week holiday and, let’s be honest, even my best blog-readers must have been bored of stories about travelling by now. Unfortunately there is more to come and it comes in the form of a question:

What is Contiki?

A) A fantastic way to see the sights of Europe
B) A unique chance to blow a lot of money on nothing at all
C) An amazing opportunity to make friends from all over the world and share some incredible times together
D) A bunch of drunken students on a bus
E) The experience of a lifetime
or
F) An absolute joke

If you think a), c) or e) are the correct answers, chances are you are South African. If b), d) and f) seem more likely to you or if you have no idea what I am talking about then you are most definitely from Europe.

In South Africa everyone knows Contiki Tours and has either done one or is dreaming about it. Contiki Tours are a bit like Rainbow Tours: targeted at students in their 20s with little money or travelling experience, but a desire to see as much of Europe in as little time as possible.

A lot of South Africans have never left the country and I can almost understand why – the sun shines every day of the year, there are mountains for hiking, beaches for surfing, plenty of nature reserves for wildlife watching, rivers for rafting, wine regions for gourmet meals and amazing cities with plenty of shopping, clubbing and entertainment opportunities. So there is really very little reason to leave South Africa in the first place, but if people do, they go to Thailand, Spain or the UK - it has never occurred to them to travel within Africa… but that is a different issue.

Because it is relatively expensive to leave the continent, South Africans feel that they really have to make the most of their trip and see all of Europe when they finally get there. And the best, easiest and quickest way is often to do a Contiki Tour.

One of the girls I work with has just booked the “European Encounter” tour and while she was incredibly excited about the trip, I was in utter disbelief about going to ten countries in sixteen days! You don’t believe me? Here’s the itinerary for the Tour taken directly from their website – keep in mind that this is a trip that will last just over two weeks:

Tour Highlights

• Amsterdam
o Visit a fishing and cheese village
o Bicycle tour of the Dutch countryside
o Visit a cheese farm & clog maker's house
o See the city by night

• Rhine Valley
o Scenic River Cruise (summer departures only)
o See the Lorelei Rock

• Lucerne
o See the Wooden Chapel Bridge
o Scenic Alpine drive

• Liechtenstein
o Visit the capital Vaduz

• Innsbruck
o See the Golden Roof, Royal Palace & Olympic Ski Jump

• Brenner Pass
o Scenic drive past vineyards, orchards & castles

• Venice
o Private motorboat to the historic islands
o See the Bridge of Sighs, the Doges' Palace & St. Mark's Square
o Murano glass-blowing demonstration

• Rome
o See Piazza Venezia, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Piazza Navona, Colosseum & Roman Forum
• Vatican City
o See St. Peter's Basilica

• Florence
o Walking tour with a local guide
o See the Duomo, Basilica Santa Croce, Giotto's Bell Tower, the Baptistry & Piazza della Signoria
o Florentine leather craft demonstration

• Pisa
o See the Leaning Tower

• French Riviera
o Visit a French Perfumery
o Scenic drive along the Cote d'Azur
o Visit Monaco & see the Royal Palace
o Visit a Monte Carlo casino
o Visit Nice and enjoy the beach

• Avignon
o Visit Avignon & see the Papal Palace

• Burgundy
o See the Chablis & Burgundy vineyards
o See Fontainebleau Château

• Paris

If you managed to get to the end of this without either breaking out in hysterical laughter or falling into a state of utter shock and disbelief, something is seriously wrong with you…

I have so far only come up with three possible explanations for this ridiculous waste of money and time that dares to call itself the “trip of a lifetime”:
1. People have heard so much about Europe and its amazing sights that they have an overwhelming inability to choose which country to visit;
2. South Africans think that Europe is like Africa with one or two highlights per country and not much in between them (like the Free State in SA – a county the size of Belgium with literally nothing (!) in it); or
3. South Africans are greedy (and looking at the size of their standard restaurant meals, this def seems to be the case!)