The Gravytrain to Grahamstown

There is no escaping from it! Newspapers, radio stations and TV channels - everybody is talking about the UK elections! The live debates between the three main candidates seem to have transformed the political landscape in Britain and suddenly elections have become so exciting that an election video game is now available – forget Rooney and Kaka going for goal in ProEvo, we now want to see Clegg and Toast battling it out to conquer Number 10!
In “Downing Street Fighter”, the so-called politicians wear bright-coloured karate gear, show off impressive Chinese martial art skills and fight against evil villains such as the Blair-Witch, a two-headed monster version of Tony Blair and Margaret Thatcher, and the woman who haunts every politician’s worst nightmares, Gillian Duffy, to conquer the heart of the British Public and move into Downing Street.



As I followed the news coverage of the elections, I was surprised how little debate there was on the expenses scandal. What happened to floating ducks, packs of crisps and the Gravytrain that dominated the British tabloids last summer? It almost seems as if politics and the media have finally realised what is really important and moved on to issues that actually matter for the electorate: Mr. Brown’s favourite biscuits, Cameron’s snobbish way of pronouncing vowels and the mysterious absence of Mrs. Clegg!

And as politics concentrate on issues of national interest, the Gravytrain moved on …

… and its next stop was South Africa!

Last week I went back to university and attended an Environmental Economics course at Rhodes Investec Business School (“Where Business Leaders Learn”). One thing I realised straight away was that I was too cool for school... or too old? Clear signs that one way or another I had outgrown university life were that wasting time in lectures was no longer my main objective, I no longer wanted as many breaks as possible and “funny” examples and stories by lecturers were no longer welcome but annoying. Glad to swap my office clothes and high heels for jeans and trainers, I felt old and unfashionable among so many young girls desperately trying to follow the latest high street trends and I could no longer enjoy the “great vibe” of the local student hot spot – The Rat and Parrot - but thought that the tables were dirty, the service bad and the food barely edible.

So I realised that the uni ship had sailed... but fortunately I should not be left stranded - the Gravytrain had come all the way from England to fetch me!

While there are not many benefits to working for government in Pretoria – no subsidised canteen, no corporate gifts, no lavish end-of-year functions or any event with a free bar – life out of the office is quite bearable. Most of the other course participants were lodging in cheap B & B’s, but Treasury had put us up in a rather plush hotel with huge beds, underfloor heating and a lovely pool. While we enjoyed cooked breakfasts served by the (fair enough, rather slow) waitress on our veranda, the other students starved themselves until the 10am tea break and then digged into the disgusting sandwich platters as if they were only minutes away from starving to death. And in the evening as everyone read over their notes or watched the terribly South African TV, we went out for dinner to Grahamstown’s finest restaurants (all three of them…).

As I sat in a lovely French Restaurant and was about to order food, it hit me! I realised that I was hitching a ride on the Gravytrain! When away on business, Treasury reimburses us for meals and so there was no reason to watch the pennies (or the waistline) and I could shamelessly indulge my curiosity and sweet tooth: Even though I wasn’t really hungry, I ordered starter, main, dessert and coffee – just to sample, just because I could. The same ruthless attitude applied to drinks and snacks... during a break when so called coffee was served, we went out and treated ourselves to real coffee and yummy cake. And while a can of coke may only cost R6.50 and paying for it myself would certainly not leave me starving at the end of the month, I collected all receipts and will probably claim the money back...

Looking back I have to admit that I rode the Gravytrain to Grahamstown and even though I don’t want to justify any expenses claims by British politicians, I can certainly see the appeal. Until I came back to the office, that is, and had to fill in one form for every Rand I had spent! As much as I enjoyed the ride on the Gravytrain, I think in future I will not bother taking it for small distances anymore. There are quicker ways to get to my destination and there are better ways to spend my time – apparently that does not hold for British politicians though!